Day 3
           
            The Customer hasn’t ordered The Pizza today.  I haven’t moved for thirty-two hours.  I am beginning to fear that the room’s advanced security measures may render it air-tight.  The skunk has been spraying constantly since I broke its spine with my shoe.

            I want to go home but the door won’t open.  The Customer has never missed a day before.  What if it only opens once I’ve dropped the money into the pneumatic tube?  What if The Customer’s died?

            Yes… the air… I just tried lighting a cigarette in violation of the rules.  There does not appear to be enough oxygen to work the lighter. 

            The skunk has just died and voided its bowels.  Did it die from my blow or did it suffocate?  Do skunks need more oxygen than man? 

            An hour has passed.  There are spots beginning to dance before my eyes.  I must enact the Emergency Procedure.  It may well lead to me being fired… but I have no choice.  I must tear the tube map from you Diary and send a note on the back.

            Oh god… The pneumatic tube’s door has jammed open…  A vacuum is forming…  I must jam the skunk in the pipe… it’s the only way…

            Oh no… the skunk has been sent to head office…  Its bones were too weak…

            So little air…

            Ten minutes have passed.  I am flying in the top-left corner of the room.  I am drawn to the lightbulb.  Its warm caress feels like my mother.  There’s a unicorn in the room.

            It is me again Diary Dearest.

            The unicorn asked me to come with it.  It was obviously a spy.  I punched its throat until it fell.  I am using its severed horn to scrape at the wall.  I will dig a tunnel.  I will live… I will live…

            The floor is mole-rats.  They’re a naked carpet that whistles as I step.  Raise me on your tiny shoulders.

            I’m free.

            I made it.
           
            All I needed to do was run fast enough at the wall.  There was a brief moment of searing pain before I passed through.

            It’s very dark here though…

            Oh… wait… there’s a light ahead.  It beckons.

           
            Dear Diary… I found you wedged inside my cheek.  It seems that the owner was unimpressed by the skunk firing itself into his office at incredible speed.  He decided to come down and beat me.

            I am very lucky he had to open the door to smash my knees with that large stone. 

            Unfortunately I was also fired.  He bundled me into a van with a sack on my head.  It reminded me of home.   

            It is cold and wet.  The rats are pulling at me, trying to lay their eggs inside me.

            Wait… rats don’t lay eggs. 
           
            Why are turtles attacking me?

            Where am I?

back to duck.