In lieu of exposition let us simply say I arrived at certain place for certain reasons.  In lieu of introduction I will tell you I am a person.  In lieu of a plot I shall tell you that nothing has happened nor will happen.

There is nothing special about me.  My one interesting feature is a scar halfway up my back.  I don’t know how it happened.  There is nobody alive or dead who knows either.  It’s just a tiny bump I can feel when I reach behind to scratch.
At various points in my life I’ve had pets.  They were amiable creatures. 
How would I define myself if asked to?  Plain.

Would I lie if I was trying to impress a woman?  No, I lack the imagination to produce anything believable.

I do the simple crossword with moderate success.  I cannot understand cryptic clues.

Do I have hopes and dreams?  To achieve a quiet satisfaction.  I have no conviction that I will achieve this.  I am not convinced I would recognize it even if I did.

I have no political affiliation.  I feel nobody represents me.  They’re all trying too hard to stand out.

I’m indifferent to all races including my own.  I don’t feel connected enough to society to form bigoted ideas.  No section of society has had any impact on me.  It would be as pointless as discriminating between the left and right sides of my body.  I don’t understand enough about this world to have faith in my judgement.

I am the most mundanely average human being on Earth.
I have only once inserted a fully-grown duck into my anus.

back to duck.