I haven't slept for fifty-odd hours. I decided to see what effect this would have on the laboured and over-used stream of consciousness poetry. The usual rule of continuing until I get bored or so confused that I stare emptily at my hand for five minutes applies.

 

Specialist spaniel floating free,
Tied its nose to an onion tree,
Little pineapples all so round,
Rest my thighs upon the ground.

 

Irritating noises in my noses,
Cats’ small ears can hear roses,
Small expressions of surprise,
When paints left it often dries.

 

Cabbage patch doll got knocked up,
Thing is six months from its pup,
I don’t know how it ever came to be,
Wrapped my Volvo round a tree.

 

Cat likes the hat but not the mat,
Tiny trousers feel like freedom,
If my face could make some cheese,
The world would cure all disease,
Happy donkey Thursday, oh so true,
Something borrowed, something blue,
Capitalist hamster sings my song,
Insurance fraud caterpillar in the wrong,
Tinkly Tadpole made of glass,
Massive bananas made of grass,
Rhyming scheme comes right back,
Epic pretensions, laziness crack.

 

Dishcloth hangs on hook on wall,
Table is made in south Nepal,
Workmanship shoddy, it does wobble,
Turkey, Turkey, Gobble, Gobble.

 

Light my way to bed my friend,
Remove my shoes before the end,
Explain that it’s for my own good,
Touch me in ways hookers should.

 

Small pile of dust in centre of floor,
Mouse droppings, dog hair, unknown lint,
Mysterious odour, plates unwashed,
Flatten one’s nose to end the shame.

Explain to me the simple things,
Blurry vision, compound shoe,
Retro Morrison’s discount stew,
The little people, they smile at me.

 

So time marches on, so they say,
That’s why you wear that toupee,
All control is lost, you sag,
Nowt to do but fill the bag.

 

Sing a song of old man,
Old woman in a shoe,
Melt my crayons down,
They shall be the glue.
Ribald tales are to be told,
When you die I’ll take your gold.

 

Simpleton Simon So Sunburnt,
Lost Lessons Longest Learnt,
Trampoline Timeline Tinny,
Starvation Sally So Skinny.

 

As artful Arty angers all,
Bernard bats budgie ball,
Captured canary cataract,
Disco dancing dog detract,
Ethereal egomania elate,
Fatuous female’s fine fellate,
Gorgeous gerbil gets gummed,
Horrible hornpipe hardly hummed,
Iceland’s ire is incorrect info,
Justified Jibes Jamaica’s Judo,
Kremlin kangaroo kills kites,
Lonely lion likes Lambert Lights,
Meanwhile men make maps,
Nightly notes, nightly naps,
Oslo ostracize other ones,
Panda’s putrid, painful puns
Quietly quipped Quasi-queef,
Rabid revenge ruins reef,
Silent sluice swallows song,
Teaches tribes to trust the thong,
Ultra undesirable used urine,
Violets vaporise vapid vine,
Why would Wendy wannabes,
Xylophone, Xi, Xerxes,
Yokel yes, yahoo yo,
Zippy Zoological Zorro,