Autoeroticbiography Part One

Now almost entirely defucked for Internet Explorer users. After the most boring afternoon of my life.

Update:

Still not a single email. What a surprise... seeing as most of you are searching for "undetectable poisons".

The first person to place their face on a scanner along with a slice of bread or a crisp and send in the result wins a prize. To enter.

Some part of July:

If, for any odd reason, you wish to contact me, send mail here.

Oh, and I know what some of you searched for when you found this place...

You have real, often hilarious, problems and for Christ's sake don't come within 500 miles of me.

9th of May.

I am delighted to announce I'm now the number one, and only, result on Google for "Jan Michael Fucking Vincent" with quotes.

In honour of this achievement I present a picture of a pair of breasts.

( o Y o )

25th of January or something...

Trying to make everything look less cock.